The Earth Angel

“I would like to write the story of your life.” I asked.

“I don’t have a story, what do you want to write about?” she said with a warm smile.

“You have had an extraordinary life full of major challenges since childhood. You have been a source of inspiration in my life and everyone who knows you.”

“It is not me. It is God.”

“Your faith helped you through your life lessons. I know of many others who have not felt that connection and would benefit from hearing your story.”

“Why don’t you write about God?”

“I am a story teller. There have been millions of volumes of books written about God. Those who believe read them and those who don’t, won’t read them, and the separation remains. You reflected to me that my mission in this lifetime is to connect, bring people together. Your faith may open the heart and soul of many.”

She paused, thinking, “You know I am a very private person.”

“Yes, I would like to share only the message of your life.”

“Let me think about it.”

My mind took me to about thirty years ago when I met her at work. We worked for a County Agency serving the most wounded people of our community with chemical dependency and mental illness. Naturally, a lifetime of drug use results in serious health issues, loss of family and loved ones, loss of job, home, and transportation. Once a person is dependent on a substance, the addict is likely to do whatever to support the habit resulting in legal issues. They become self-destructive and zap the energy from those around them. The rate of burn-out is high for counselors.

I was new to the field and was informed by experienced counselors the only treatment that works is “Tough Love” aiming at breaking the denial and client’s manipulative defenses and building them up again. I was told that my illusion of being gentle with “criminals” would result in burn-out in less than a year.

I felt lost and confused, asked for guidance, for a mentor, a guide and the universe responded. She welcomed me to the clinic with a warm smile. After almost three decades, I still remember her kind eyes as it was yesterday, reassuring me. When one is new in a work setting, everything is a question. She took me under her wing. I watched her being loving, caring, compassionate and extremely firm in a gentle way with clients. Bingo, I had found my guide in the field of chemical dependency. I did not know yet that she was going to become a life mentor to me, a soul sister and a spiritual guide.

I watched her closely in action. She was as graceful as a swan, elegant like a queen, nurturing as a loving mother and an effective parent for the client; patiently teaching them every step of growth and living life. Most of our clients came from no structure, basically surviving life by doing whatever they had to do.

She was the bilingual Spanish speaking counselor. We were providing services to men who were convicted of domestic violence. I observed this petite, beautiful woman in a room filled with macho Hispanic males with anger and chemical dependency issues.

Within weeks, theses clients having been treated with respect, dignity, integrity and compassion started healing; being able to express their inner pain.

I witnessed many times clients who were going to be discharged from the program for violating the rules and being disrespectful while they had a chance to be in her groups, transformed.

Working with her, I observed daily miracles right in front of my eyes. The males in her group changed from violent, alcoholic, abusive men to loving, caring and thoughtful family men. They brought their families to meet her at the clinic and left with a world of gratitude.

She had a co-dependency group for Latina women. Many of whom were survivors of childhood traumas, having lost a sense of self-worth and self love. Even coming to the clinic was a miracle. The group was crowded with women who had been mistreated all their lives. Within months, the Goddesses gradually emerged from the wounded souls. The smiles came back to broken hearts.

I attended every group of hers I could, watching her closely. Her smile was radiant. Her eyes were kind and welcoming. Clients seemed to be at ease and safe with her. She is the loving, nurturing mother they all longed for. I witnessed clients sharing about their acts of cruelty under the influence of alcohol, feeling shame, unable to forgive themselves. She always offered a way out with dignity, a practical solution to restore the lost love back. It reminded of me of Gandhi’s life; when he fasted to bring awareness to Hindu and Muslim war. A Hindu man came to him in anguish. He said he knows he is going to hell for killing a Muslim boy. Gandhi suggested a way out; to find a Muslim orphan boy, raise him as your own with the Muslim faith.

She offered such solutions on daily basis.

I asked myself where does she get this deep wisdom. She must have been raised by spiritual parents with extraordinary wisdom. I wanted to learn as much about the becoming process of this Divine Woman as I wanted to know about Gandhi’s life.

“Please share about your mom with me. I asked.”

She had a big smile with a touch of sadness. My mother was a beautiful loving woman. I remember her singing at home. She had a beautiful voice. I lost her at age of five to breast cancer.

I was shocked with my own assumption.

“What do you remember of her?”

“Not that much. She loved beauty. I was her last child. I had reddish hair like hers. She would dress me in beautiful clothes. Looking back, I feel she was highly intuitive. She was most loving to me. I wonder if she knew she was going to leave soon.”

“I have seen her photo in your home. It feels as her eyes are communicating. Do you remember her being ill? I wonder what was your understanding of her illness at that tender young age.”

“I don’t remember much, she did not complain. As an adult, I understand she must have been experiencing deep pain.”

“You have had major heath issues in your life since young age. I have not heard you ever complain of pain. Remember when I came to see you in the hospital after an operation? I was amazed you were making the nurses laugh as they wheeled you into the room. Where do you get your strength and your sense of humor?”

” I think Jesus have a good sense of humor and I got it from him.”

” What memories do you have from young ages?

“When I was four years old, I went to the Bible classes with my older sister. I was too young to be a student but Mon Senior let met attend the class. One day, there were going to give a prize to those who answered the questions correctly. They would put the names in a hat and take a name randomly. The prize was a picture of Jesus. I wanted to have that photo so badly. When the teacher asked question, I would put my little hand up hoping she would call on me. My hand was up for every question. She was not calling on me because I was not considered a “student”. I think she was inspired by my enthusiasm. She looked at Mon Senior and asked. He smiled and said yes. I answered the question and my name was placed in the hat. I loved Mon Senior. He was kind and smiled at me. It was time for the drawing. My heart was beating fast. I folded my hand in prayers and closed my eyes. The teacher picked a name and it was mine!

I jumped with joy. That was perhaps the most precious gift of all in my whole life. The teacher hesitated for a second. The students were disappointed yet Mon Senior said I had won the prize.

On the way home, my sister said why didn’t you tell me the answers. You are not even a student, so she wanted me to give her my prize. I told her the picture was given to me and I feel the photo of Christ became my best friend and lifetime companion.”

“Looking at your life and many major health challenges, I have felt you have been guided and watched over, all your life.”

“Yes, I have.” Her smile was louder than any word.

“This journey has been extremely painful.”

“It is through painful life lessons that we grow spiritually. How can one come to the light without experiencing the darkness?”

“You have experienced physical pain related to health issues since a young age; what do you make of it?”

“I don’t question my life challenges. I try to do the best I can with my life. I have asked for a life of service and feel grateful for having been able to serve. I remember all of my clients. I may not see them again yet the memory is well and alive.”

“I have worked with clients who had Fibromyalgia and went on total disability. How do you manage a cluster of lifetime chronic pain?”

She smiled again patiently repeating herself like a Master.

“You have seen movies of the life of Christ and crucifixion. He was severely beaten, tortured and crucified to bring a message of healing. We are not our physical body. We are spirits. I am inspired by his life and by his love for humanity. He is my best friend. He is with me at all times. Do you think my joint pain can stop me from my calling in life?”

Tears are rolling, tears of joy and gratitude for having her in my life. I have an Earth Angel night in front of me; a healer who has touched the heart and souls of generations of families for a lifetime.

I feel the world must know about her as we know about Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela.

Maybe, one day she may choose to share her life story.

Dream

The huge auditorium was totally packed, not a single seat was empty. There was a sense of heightened excitement in the audience waiting for the storyteller. They had read her many stories for years now. This was her first public appearance. She was going to read one of her stories live, but which one? The audience members were like  enthusiastic children at the library waiting for their favorite storyteller to read their favorite story. It was worth the wait and the joy of anticipation was vibrating in the audience.

The announcer came on the stage with a deep smile. “Well, you all know her stories. There is no need for an introduction. Here she is.”

Then Ella appeared on the stage, walking gracefully and calmly to the center. She seemed joyful and respectful in a simple dress and her face with a little makeup. Just a touch of mild lipstick and a little eye shadow to bring her brown eyes alive with a radiant warm smile. It felt as though there was a halo of white light around her body. She was conveying a deep message with her appearance. She was a woman of spirit, beyond the beauty of physical body.

The audience gave her a standing ovation, clapping with their hearts. Ella could not believe that all these people had come to hear her story. When she started writing, she wondered to herself who in the world may be interested in reading her stories. She was not a writer. She wrote from her heart about her life experiences with a simple language. She knew nothing about the craft of writing as a profession. She started writing to save her soul from the overwhelming pain within her.

On the stage, she had tears in her eyes. Tears of joy. She bowed to honor her unknown friends and her soul-family. They were meeting in person for the first time. Yet, there was a soul connection, a bond of understanding, acceptance, and unconditional love with no judgment.

She started speaking. Her voice was soothing, comforting, and gentle, revealing her authentic self. She thanked the audience for affirmation of the healing process and having faith in experiencing the light after passing through a long and dark tunnel. She was delighted to see so many men and young adults there, the mentors of future generation.

She did not seem to be nervous. She knew she was among her friends, was loved and supported her courage in her journey of self love.

She spoke softly. “I am going to read you the story of Unveiling the Deepest Shame. This was one of my most painful discoveries and one of the most healing experiences of my life. I invite you to consider yours, as you listen to mine.”

There was an absolute silence as Ella read her story. Some were weeping quietly with compassion. That auditorium had never experienced such healing energy. It felt as if angels were celebrating watching the humans honoring and healing their psyche.

Then I woke up in the middle of the night, with a smile on my face.

What is your dream?

 

NOTE: This story was inspired by our son writing a birthday card for his father manifesting his dream.

Guardian Angel

“Are you my Guardian Angel?” Kami asked.

“Yes, I am.”

“Where have you been all my life?”

“I have always been with you.”

“Were you there when I was born with a congenital heart disease and cried constantly in pain?”

“Yes, I was there with you every moment.”

“Can you explain to me what had I done to deserve such pain starting at birth?”

“I am not sure I can respond to your questions in a way that you might make some sense of, given your thoughts and perceptions.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you messing with me?”

“No, I am not. I am simply not sure if you might be open to the possibility of what I like to share with you.”

“Ok. I am open, listening, just don’t B.S. me and don’t insult my intelligence.”

“Well, the soul before coming to the physical form chooses the life lessons. It is sort of like going to school and choosing a curriculum.”

“Are you saying that I chose to have a heart disease at birth? My mother told me that I was crying in pain for 9 months to the point that I developed a hernia. Now, I don’t know what kind of angel you are and where you’re coming from. Can you explain why I would have possibly chosen such a painful experience?”

“There are many advanced souls who choose advanced lessons. It’s  like how one person may not go to school, another finishes only elementary school, or another who goes on to graduate school and obtains the highest level of knowledge.”

“A person may choose to go college. I was just a baby! Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“You were a baby in the physical form, yet you may have an old soul who had lived many lifetimes.”

“What kind of nonsense are you talking about? Past lives? Is that a way to simply justify all the pain and suffering and injustice we see on the planet?”

“The soul is an eternal energy and the body is a temporary vessel. When one completes their life’s lessons, the soul moves on to the 5^th dimension and comes back to the physical form to learn more advanced lessons. This continues to happen until they become Masters, sort of like graduating from school.”

“This is absolute bullshit! Angel or not, I’m tempted to give you a taste of my fist right now and let you feel the pain. Tell me how one chooses pain voluntarily? My father physically abused me for as long as he was stronger than me. Are you saying I chose to be hit?”

“I am an observer. I have never been in physical form. All I know is that the Divine Intelligence wants joy and inner peace for all beings on the planet. I watched you growing up and even though I do not know the pain of being physically hit, I felt so much compassion for you. No child should ever experience that.”

“So, how does your ‘Divine Intelligence’ justify all the children who are being abused and sometimes killed?”

“The Divine Source within us honors humans ‘free will.’ In our dimension, we feel sad when humans choose to harm each other, animals, vegetation, and the planet as a whole. Yet, we can not intervene unless we are invited.”

“Are you here by my invitation?”

“Yes, remember last night, you were crying and you asked for help.”

“I have been asking for help all my life. Were you deaf? Now you hear me when I am old, sick, and every part of my body is aching! I am alone! Not even my mother wants to talk to me! Sometimes, I don’t even wish to continue this life of hell. Alcohol has been my best friend, my pain reliever most of my life. It is the only thing that quiets the nagging voice inside my brain.”

“Yes, you were intoxicated last night when you called me, perhaps the alcohol shut off your ego and your fears…and your soul had a window of opportunity to call out.”

“I can’t believe any of this! I must be hallucinating! Maybe this is my imagination playing tricks on me? Maybe, I have been alone for too long? Maybe I am afraid of dying alone and having no one with me. Maybe, you are a creation of my desperate need to have a friend? Maybe, it was a bit of that hashish I had last night? How can I know if you  are real?”

“I don’t know what ‘real’ means to you. What I do know is that your physical reality is all an illusion! Whatever you see with your physical eyes is the dimension of the invisible that is ‘real’ to me.”

“Do you know everything about my life?”

“Yes everything one says or does is recorded.”

“Tell me something to prove it, something that nobody knows.”

“Well, I must honor your soul’s desire and respect your boundaries. I cannot share what you may not be willing to hear or face at this time in your life. I do know that you have been severely wounded as a child and turned all your feelings of abandonment, pain, and hurt into anger and rage. I want to assure you that you are loved. Your soul belongs on the 7^th level of Heaven when you come Home.

“Don’t even go there Angel or else it is the end of this conversation! Don’t B.S. me about ‘God.’ I don’t believe in a God. The corrupt governments have created ‘God’ to keep the nations in bondage. Look at the planet; see how the governments are executing mass murders, and God, along with all the other nations are watching, doing nothing. What kind of God would let this outrageous genocide happen?”

“Yes, it is very human to wonder and assume that there is a ‘God’ sitting there in the sky; perhaps an old MAN with a white beard, doing nothing to stop the suffering. I hear so many humans blaming God for the destruction, wars, natural disasters, and nuclear weapons that can wipe out the planet. It is interesting that when people are healthy, joyful, peaceful, and in love, they don’t think of ‘God.’ However, when something goes wrong in their perception, they immediately blame ‘God’ assuming a source of perfection, being in charge of everything.”

“I HATE my life. I hate all these people who are dishonest, selfish, lie without reason, love money like it’s their life and would do anything to make a buck, even commit murder. I never lied or hurt anyone in my life!”

“Hate is such a strong word. Where do you think all this hatred within you is coming from?”

“People are bad, mean, sons of bitches by nature. It is the law of the jungle! The strong dominates the weak! You are either the wolf, or the lamb, and there is only one relationship between them. Survival is the key!”

“Why do you hate your life?”

“No one in my family is willing to be with me because I do not have MONEY! I became disabled with my heart condition, had two open-heart surgeries. I was not able to work. You see when one becomes vulnerable, others pull back or want to dominate you.”

“What does it take to live your life with passion and joy?”

“I was very artistic growing up. I should have become an entertainer. I was a great singer, dancer, and could imitate the actors and play their parts better than them. I could recite great poetry in front of family and friends. I should have been an actor. However, my father forced me to go into engineering, which I had no desire for. I hated all the time I spent in school.

“How did you feel about your father?”

“He left me in a boarding school when I was 7 years old. I was at the mercy of the staff there. What kind of parents leave their children to go to Europe? They did not take us with them. I am so angry with them. I still can’t believe they left me!”

Kami was overwhelmed with sorrow, fighting his tears, trying to be strong. He hated crying. All his life he was told that boys don’t cry and that he is being a “sissy” if he cried. Lately, it seemed that tears had a will of their own and they came and went for no apparent reason.

The angel was quiet, longing to embrace this precious child and give him a big, comforting hug, feeling him LOVED.

Kami was sobbing. The angel quietly left him with a halo of white light to protect him from his negative thoughts. On the way out, the angel left a note, “Whenever you wish to SEE me, call.”

 —- In German Translated by Ulrike Boecker —-

“Bist du mein Schutzengel?” fragte Kami.

“Ja, ich bin es.”

“Wo bist du mein ganzes Leben lang gewesen?”

“Ich bin immer bei dir gewesen.”

“Warst du da, als ich mit einer vererbten Herzkrankheit geboren wurde und ständig vor Schmerzen schrie?”

“Ja, ich war bei dir, jeden Moment.”

“Kannst du mir erklären, was ich getan hatte, um bei der Geburt solche Schmerzen ertragen zu müssen?”

“Ich bin nicht überzeugt, dass ich deine Fragen so beantworten kann, dass meine Antworten, bezüglich deiner Gedanken und Empfindungen für dich sinnvoll wären.”

“Was zum Teufel soll das bedeuten? Willst du mich veräppeln?”

“Nein, das tue ich nicht. Ich bin einfach nicht überzeugt, ob du dafür offen sein kannst, was ich gern dir mitteilen möchte.”

“Ok. Ich bin offen, höre zu, mach keinen Mist und beleidige meine Intelligenz nicht.”

“Also, die Seele sucht sich die Lehre des Lebens vor der Ankunft der physischen Form heraus. Es ist, als ob man zur Schule geht und sich einen Lehrplan aussucht.”

“Meinst du, dass ich mir bei der Geburt eine Herzkrankheit ausgesucht habe? Meine Mutter hat mir gesagt, dass ich 9 Monate lang vor Schmerzen geschrien habe bis zu dem Punkt, an dem sich ein Bruch entwickelt hatte. Jetzt weiß ich nicht, was für eine Art Engel du bist und woher du kommst. Kannst du mir erklären, warum ich mir eventuell solch eine schmerzhafte Erfahrung ausgesucht haben sollte?”

“Es gibt viele fortgeschrittene Seelen, die zukunftsweisende Lehren wählen. Es ist ähnlich, als wenn eine Person nicht in die Schule gehen kann, ein anderer beendet nur die Grundschule oder ein anderer, der weitermacht, um einen guten Schulabschluss und sogar ein erfolgreiches Studium zu absolvieren und erreicht dadurch den Höchststand an Kenntnissen.

“Eine erwachsene Person kann beschließen, zur Universität zu gehen. Ich aber war gerade ein Baby! Verstehst du, was ich sage?”

“Du warst ein Baby in der physischen Form, jedoch magst du eine alte Seele gehabt haben, die viele Lebenszeiten gelebt hat.”

“Was redest du für einen Unsinn? Vorheriges Leben? Ist das eine Art, einfach nur den ganzen Schmerz und das Leiden und die Ungerechtigkeit zu rechtfertigen, die wir auf dem Planeten sehen?”

“Die Seele ist eine ewige Energie, und der Körper ist ein provisorischer Behälter. Wenn man seine Lebenslehren vollendet, geht die Seele zur fünften Dimension und kommt zur physischen Form zurück, um mehr zukünftige Lektionen zu lernen. Das setzt sich so fort, bis man Meister wird, ähnlich wie das Absolvieren der Universität.”

“Das ist totaler Unsinn! Engel oder nicht, ich bin geneigt, dich in diesem Augenblick meinen Faust spüren und den Schmerz fühlen zu lassen. Erzähl mir mal, wie man den Schmerz freiwillig wählen kann? Mein Vater hat mich körperlich missbraucht, solange er stärker war als ich. Sagst du, dass ich beschlossen hätte, geschlagen zu werden?”

“Ich bin ein Beobachter. Ich bin nie in der physischen Form gewesen. Alles, was ich weiß ist, dass die Intelligenz Gottes Heiterkeit und inneren Frieden für alle Wesen auf dem Planeten will. Ich habe dein Aufwachsen beobachtet, und auch wenn ich den Schmerz nicht kenne, wenn man körperlich geschlagen wird, habe ich viel Mitgefühl mit dir. Kein Kind sollte das jemals erfahren.”

“Also, wie rechtfertigt deine ‘Gottesintelligenz, dass all die Kinder missbraucht und manchmal getötet werden?”

“Die Göttliche Quelle in uns achtet auf den ‘freien Willen’ des Menschen. In unserer Dimension fühlen wir uns traurig, wenn Menschen beschließen, einander, Tiere, Vegetation und den Planeten als ganzes zu verletzen. Und doch können wir nicht einschreiten, solange wir nicht dazu eingeladen worden sind.”

“Bist du hier, damit ich dich einlade?”

“Ja, erinnere dich an die letzte Nacht: du hast geschrien und hast um Hilfe gebeten.”

“Ich habe mein ganzes Leben um Hilfe gebeten. Warst du taub? Jetzt hörst du mich, wo ich alt und krank bin, und jeder Teil meines Körpers schmerzt! Ich bin allein! Nicht einmal meine Mutter will mit mir sprechen! Manchmal möchte ich sogar dieses Leben in der Hölle nicht fortsetzen. Alkohol ist mein bester Freund; dadurch wurde mein Schmerz zum größten Teil erträglich. Es ist das Einzigste, das die nörgelnde Stimme meines Gehirns beruhigt.”

“Ja, du warst gestern Abend betrunken, als du mich angerufen hast, vielleicht hat der Alkohol dein Ego und deine Ängste ausgeschaltet und deine Seele hatte ein Fenster der Gelegenheit, um aufzuschreien.”

“Ich kann das alles hier nicht glauben! Ich muss halluzinieren! Vielleicht spielt meine Einbildungskraft Streiche mit mir? Vielleicht bin ich zu lange allein gewesen? Vielleicht habe ich Angst davor, allein zu sterben und niemanden bei mir zu haben. Vielleicht bist du eine Schöpfung meines verzweifelten Bedürfnisses, eine Gefährtin zu haben? Vielleicht war es das bisschen Haschisch, das ich gestern Abend geraucht habe? Wie kann ich wissen, ob du real bist?”

“Ich weiß nicht, was real für dich bedeutet. Was ich wirklich weiß ist, dass deine physische Wirklichkeit ein Trugbild ist! Was auch immer du mit deinen physischen Augen siehst, ist die Dimension des Unsichtbaren, was für mich ‘real` ist.”

“Weißt du alles über mein Leben?”

“Ja, alles, was man sagt oder tut wird registriert.”

“Erzähle mir etwas, was niemand weiß, um es zu beweisen.”

“Nun, ich muss den Wunsch deiner Seele achten und deine Grenzen respektieren. Ich kann dir nicht mitteilen, was du dir nicht anhören möchtest oder was du zu diesem Zeitpunkt deines Lebens nicht wahrnehmen kannst. Ich weiß wirklich, dass du als Kind einige Male schwer verletzt worden bist und sich alle deine Gefühle des Verlassens, der Schmerzen und Verletzungen in Zorn und Wut verwandelt haben. Ich will dir versichern, dass du geliebt wirst. Deine Seele gehört zu dem siebten Himmel, wenn du nach zurück Hause kommst.

“Gehe nicht zu weit Engel, sonst ist dieses Gespräch beendet! Verarsche mich nicht mit `Gott`’. Ich glaube nicht an Gott. Die korrupten Regierungen haben ‘Gott’ geschaffen, um die Nationen in ihrer Leibeigenschaft zu behalten. Schau auf den Planeten; sieh wie die Regierungen Massenmorde begehen, und Gott sieht zusammen mit allen anderen Nationen nichts tuend zu. Welcher Gott würde diesen schamlosen Massenmord geschehen lassen?”

“Ja, es ist sehr menschlich, sich zu fragen und zu vermuten, dass es einen ‘Gott’ gibt, der dort im Himmel sitzt; vielleicht ein alter MANN mit einem weißen Bart, der nichts tut, um das Leiden zu beenden. Ich höre so viele Menschen, die Gott für die Zerstörung, Kriege, Naturkatastrophen und Kernwaffen verantwortlich machen, die den Planeten vernichten könnten. Es ist interessant, dass, wenn Leute gesund, froh, friedliebend und verliebt sind, sie dann nicht an ‘Gott’ denken. wenn aber etwas in ihrer Wahrnehmung schief geht, machen sie sofort ‘Gott’ dafür verantwortlich.”

“Ich HASSE mein Leben. Ich hasse alle diese Leute, die unehrlich und egoistisch sind, ohne Grund lügen und das Geld lieben, als wäre es ihr Leben. Sie würden alles tun, um Geld zu machen und würden dafür sogar einen Mord begehen. Ich habe nie gelogen oder jemanden in meinem Leben verletzt!”

“Hass ist solch ein hartes Wort. Wo denkst du, dass dieser ganze innere Hass herkommt?”

“Leute sind schlecht, gemein, Söhne von Miststücken, von Natur aus bösartig. Es ist das Gesetz des Dschungels! Das Starke beherrscht das Schwache! Du bist entweder der Wolf oder das Lamm, und es gibt nur eine Beziehung zwischen ihnen: Überleben ist der Schlüssel!”

“Warum hasst du dein Leben?”

“Niemand in meiner Familie ist bereit, mit mir zusammen zu sein, weil ich kein GELD habe! Ich hatte zwei Operationen am offenen Herzen und dann bin ich mit meinem Herzleiden arbeitsunfähig geworden. Du siehst, wenn man verletzbar wird, ziehen sich andere zurück oder wollen dich beherrschen.”

“Was ist erforderlich, um dein Leben mit Leidenschaft und Heiterkeit zu leben?”

“Ich hatte künstlerische Begabung, als ich aufwuchs. Ich hätte ein Unterhaltungskünstler werden können. Ich konnte gut singen, tanzen und konnte Schauspieler imitieren. Ich hätte auch Schauspieler werden können. Ich konnte ihre Rollen besser spielen als die Schauspieler selbst. Ich konnte große Dichtung vor der Familie und den Freunden rezitieren. Dennoch hat mein Vater mich gezwungen, Tchnik zu studieren, um Ingenieur zu werden, wozu ich keine Lust hatte. Ich habe dieses Studium und die ganze Zeit in der Hochschule gehasst.“

“Was hast du für deinen Vater empfunden?”

“Er hat mich in ein Internat gesteckt, als ich sieben Jahre alt war. Ich war dem Personal dort ausgeliefert. Welche Eltern verlassen ihre Kinder, um eine Reise nach Europa zu machen? Sie haben uns nicht mitgenommen. Ich bin so wütend auf sie. Ich kann noch nicht glauben, dass sie mich verlassen haben!”

Kami wurde von seinem Kummer überwältigt, mit seinen Tränen kämpfend, versuchte er, stark zu bleiben. Er hat es gehasst zu schreien. Sein ganzes Leben lang wurde ihm gesagt, dass Jungen nicht weinen, und dass er ein “Weichling” sei, wenn er schrie. Letztendlich schien es, dass Tränen ihren eigenen Willen haben und sie kommen und hören auf, ohne erkennbaren Grund.

Der Engel war still und sehnte sich danach, dieses wertvolle Kind zu umarmen und ihm einen dicken, beruhigenden Kuss zu geben, damit er sich geliebt fühlt.

Kami schluchzte. Der Engel verließ ihn still und leise, mit einem Ring weißen Lichtes, um ihn vor seinen negativen Gedanken zu schützen. Auf dem Weg hinterließ der Engel eine Notiz:

“Wann auch immer du mich SEHEN möchtest, rufe mich.”

“Er hat mich in ein Internat gesteckt, als ich 7 Jahre alt war. Ich war dem Personal dort ausgeliefert. Was für Eltern verlassen ihre Kinder, um nach Europa zu gehen? Sie haben uns nicht mitgenommen. Ich bin so wütend auf sie. Ich kann noch nicht glauben, dass sie mich verlassen haben!”

Kami wurde von seinem Kummer überwältigt, mit seinen Tränen kämpfend, versuchend, stark zu sein. Er hat es gehasst zu schreien. Sein ganzes Leben lang wurde ihm gesagt, dass Jungen nicht weinen, und dass er ein “Weichling” sei, wenn er geschrien hat. Letztendlich schien es, dass Tränen ihren eigenen Willen haben und sie kommen und gehen aus keinem offenbaren Grund.

Der Engel war still, und sehnte sich danach, dieses wertvolle Kind zu umarmen und ihm eine dicke, beruhigende Umarmung zu geben, damit er sich geliebt fühlt.

Kami schluchzte. Der Engel hat ihn still mit einem Ring des weißen Lichtes verlassen, um ihn damit vor seinen negativen Gedanken zu schützen. Auf dem Weg hat der Engel eine Notiz hinterlassen:

“Wann auch immer du mich SEHEN möchtest, rufe mich.”