Forgiveness

24c31d9c48861c678fd59977bf50578fI forgive myself for:

being unkind to temple of my body

eating fast food for years while in school

fat, sugar and salt

overeating to compensate emotional pain

I forgive myself for:

not knowing how to love myself

feeling not good enough

trying to prove my worth

external accomplishment

not knowing how to release the old chronic pain

letting fear into my heart

housing resentment in my soul

permitting anxiety to my life

having judgmental thoughts

I forgive myself for :

forgetting my Divinity

the Light within me

gift of knowing, intuition

being True to myself

forgetting my responsibility for my well being

my Divine Purpose

Today, I am okay, connected to the Divine Energy

living life with gratitude

every moment, every breath

I am that I am

I am here to serve

emotional freedom leads to inner peace, the most precious gift of all

I forgive myself and all those who caused me pain

May 2020 be the year of forgiveness, release and inner peace for all beings

 

 

Frena, An Angel

1F29D404-4C24-459D-A5CB-396C0A86EDE4
beautiful inside and outside

loving, caring, thoughtful

amazingly intuitive

an Aquarius

an Air element

genius

an evolving soul

deep knowledge

vision for glorious future

a devoted mother of three, grandmother of eight

university professor

letting go of outdated ideas

an expert in math

brilliant mind, loving heart

published writer

humble

a true friend

awoke, aware, on spiritual path

knowing she is one with all mankind

a gift to humanity

friend of four legged loving companions

a source of inspiration in my life for the past 45 years

My heart smiles when I think of her

HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

 

Derek


Derek was working at his desk when he heard a loud sound as if something hit the window. He went outside, didn’t see anything. Then noticed a dead bird on the ground. Without thinking, he picked it up, felt deep sadness inside hoping the bird was still alive started  praying “God please don’t let this bird die”. He talked to the bird ” come on, you’re okay, come back to life” while petting him, giving him life energy. The bird’s feet were crumbled, stiff. He continued giving healing energy and was shocked when he felt a little movement. The bird was coming back. Trying to get up, the bird couldn’t keep its balance. The feet started relaxing and soon the bird was on its feet, starting to walk up Derek’s sleeve and  pooped, releasing anxiety perhaps . When oriented, the bird looked at him and flew away. The sight of his flight brought smile to Derek.

“My hands are healing. God gave me an opportunity to bring the bird back to life. Maybe the bird was unconscious, not dead.” Derek is humble.

Derek was born on December 31, 1957 in Texas. He never knew his biological father and didn’t know what happened between his parents. His mother always worked and went to school, getting her doctorate. They lived with his grand parents. His grandfather had a business cleaning buildings and Derek helped. His mother was a beautiful woman, home queen looked like Hale Berry. When Derek was about six years old, she married and the step father adopted him. He had chemical dependency and in order to be clean and sober, had become highly strict with his recovery program. He expected excellence when it came to making the bed and doing chores at home. Looking back Derek wonders if he may have been Obsessive Compulsive having order in every aspect of life.

Derek’s mother bought him a white sweat set when he was seven years old. One day the father wanted to teach him basketball. Having high expectations, he got frustrated and hit Derek on the face with the ball. His nose was bleeding heavily non stop. The father, being a bit concerned, used his new white jacket to stop the bleeding. He told the young boy not to tell his mother what happened. When they got home, his mother, learning about what had happened, got mad at her husband.  Derek seemed mindful as sharing about how he was treated by his father. Once on a Christmas eve, he was in bed looking out the window when he saw a truck stopped by their home brought two new bikes. He knew they were the Christmas gifts for him and his brother. He screamed with joy jumping out of the bed, imagining himself riding the bike. His father heard him, came in to the room and slapped him so hard that the print of his hand was on the child’s face on Christmas day.

“He treated both of us the same. He had two families at the same time, had six other children. When I got older, we became friends.” Derek was looking into my eyes wanted to assure me that he has no resentment.

In Summer of 1969, his mother was diagnosed with cervical cancer. He watched her until she left her body in November 1970. He was experiencing deep loss and sorrow. He asked himself who am I?  why am I here? what is my purpose? asking God for help. The radio was his best friend and music brought joy to his life. He saw Jackson five on TV and when he saw Michael dancing he knew he wanted to dance like him. He had found a creative outlet for his deep emotions. He watched the Soul Train and smiled. “I want to do that!” His favorites groups were Isley Brothers, Sly Family Stone and Five Stairs Steps.

At age twenty five,  he had been Celebes for two years. He felt unloved, prayed and asked God for a sign that He is in his life. Out of nowhere, two dark spots showed up on his hands, like Christ. He felt the healing gift he received, knowing that he is to honor the gift by being of service, not abusing it. “It was a personal sign for me that He is working in my life, no doubt.”

Joining the Soul Train, he bloomed to life and while dancing, he received love from people admiring his art validating his talent. He decided to visit his parental grandparents in Texas and asked his father to call his parents letting them know he was going to visit and if possible to pick him up from the airport. The father treated him horribly thinking he was going to ask his parents for financial aid. When he arrived no one was there for him. He didn’t know what to do, lost. A couple of employees recognized him from the Soul Train, expressed their love and took him home with them. He felt loved.

In February 2020, he was invited on a cruise ship to perform, met Jacksons after years again.  He felt alive on the stage. He found his biological father through Ancestry.com. He has five biological siblings, already connected with them feeling they are family. He is going to visit his biological father for the first time in his life end of February. He is 85 and lives in Texas.  The healer is ready to heal the deepest wound by reaching out to his father.

I’d like to invite our readers to send love and healing energy to Derek, this gifted healer and his family as he goes to visit his family for the first time. Welcome Derek to our healing circle.

Note: please see the post for Derek’s birthday posted on 12/30/2019 & the link to Soul Train.