Where am I Going?

After my phone conversation with Lora, and having made the decision to go to India, I spent an hour meditating, attempting to quiet my racing mind. What makes me feel so anxious? This is a dream come through. I think knowing about the journey would give me the information I need. I called my spiritual friend Zahir. It was Tuesday, July 25, 2023.

I wondered how he felt upon hearing that I was going-surprised? Zahir, had been on the spiritual path since age 21,practicing and training with various Masters who seemed to embody the practice of “detachment.” Zahir’s usual serious demeanor hid his inner joy or lack thereof, unlike me; my inner emotions were in turmoil. I wasn’t certain whether this was a once-in-a-lifetime divine intervention offering or an impulsive decision, the latter having been suggested by one of our children while the loud beat of my heart echoed in my ears.

Aware that I knew nothing about the travel plans, Zahir began sharing some information about the ashram. Lora planned to goto the ashram a few days ahead of the tour to rest and meditate prior to going to a place called Shirdi for three days. For the first time, she agreed for the three of us go with her. This was her time to prepare for the trip.

“Would you share a little about life in ashram?” I asked.

He talked about the atmosphere and etiquette while living in an ashram. This was a place for going within, be in silence and meditate. It is vital to honor others’ space as they might be in the middle of a process and not to be disturbed. He knows I am an extrovert and when in a group, I’d like to connect with those whose energy resonates with me.  

We will stay for the ten-day during Navaratri, a celebration of Divine Mother. The daily “fire puja” involved sitting around the fire, releasing our “blocks” and letting go of what we no longer desired in life. Sitting around the fire was a sacred experience for me and I had much to give to the fire.

Additionally, we would have the chance to meditate at Dwarka Mai, the resting place of Swami Kaleshwar, his tomb, a sacred power spot. 

There is a statue of the Divine Mother, reported by some to weep. The Mother’s divine energy could be felt upon touching it. Zahir explained that visiting such powerful spots might be challenging to comprehend initially; the mind often struggles to grasp the significance.

“Do you mean that people have seen the tears coming from the statue?” I asked.

“Yes, I know, it is hard to believe until you see it yourself. It does not mean you’re going to witness that in this trip. However, photos and videos are available.” Zahir was patient with my numerous questions.

“Swami’s resting place, Dwarka Mai, a sacred ground, is next to the Mother Divine. We have a chance to meditate there. Even though you did not see Swami, being there is as powerful as if he was there in physical body.”

“What do you mean by a “power spot”?

“You will be given a metal container with earth and ash to place in a sacred space in the ground through a ceremonial practice. It is the most important for you to get it. It will connect you to Sai Baba and the divine lineage.”

“Interesting, I become part of the soul family of the generation of Sanits. I’m in.”

Zahir encouraged me to visit the website LoraStone.com to review the travel plans. We would spend three days in Shirdi, the resting place of Baba who is described as one of the most enlightened beings to walk on the planet. Baba’s miraculous healing stories, challenging for a conditioned mind to accept,fascinated me. I yearned to visit the place that drew millions of people every year.

I loved Baba who lived all his life as a “beggar” in the streets and healed generations of people coming to him from all over India. Looking at his photo, I felt connected, a feeling difficult to articulate in words. It felt as if I knew him.

Our itinerary also included Tirupati, a significant power spot where an extraordinary human being transformed himself into a statue. This concept was entirely new to me. Zahir showed a photo of the statue dressed and adorned with flowers and its eyes covered. This was going to be an experience he believed could be life-changing.

“You mean this human being turned himself into a statue?” I asked.

“Yes, I read about him and I am so looking forwards to see it with my own eyes.” His voice reflected his enthusiasm.

“I’ve never heard of anything like that. It is so hard to believe.” 

Lastly, we would visit the resting place of Ramana Maharshi. I knew of him, looking at his photo revealed an inner peace that seemed unique. His kind eyes reflected pure love; I felt a deep desire to be in the cave where he meditated most of his life. As Zahir spoke, I found myself excited, enthusiastic, and ready for the upcoming experiences.

Our meeting with the travel agent was scheduled for 2:00 pm. In our brief time on the phone, Zahir attempted to prepare me, assuring me that my soul was ready and open, and that I was called by the Divine Masters. I thanked him and asked him to be my guide during this journey. This was a divine intervention and he was the vessel for me. I was thinking to myself if I am called by a saint to go to India, who would that be?

Coffee, ice cream and love

I met Ellen in a student cafe. It was a beautiful weekday when I went there after my lecture. Two young girls were sitting at a table right next to the cash register. I took a quick look at both of them. One caught my eye. It was Ellen: she had short dark brown hair and big beautiful blue eyes that she had made up well with the same color.

When I went to get coffee, I had to walk past the young women to pay. Ellen was sorting documents while talking to her friend. “What are these documents? Lecture notes?” I asked. “No, these are questionnaires for a survey,” Ellen replied. I asked if I could sit down. She said yes without much enthusiasm. The two girls were high school students working at a forecasting institute: They were interviewing students about a particular topic. I asked if I would be a good interviewee; Ellen asked back: “What are you studying?” I said, “I’m studying business administration and working as an intern.”  “Well, an interview is a good option.

Before we started the interview, I suggested that the three of us go to the café near the opera house; I would like to invite them. So we went to that cafe. I ordered an espresso; the two students each ordered a large bowl of ice cream with fruit and extra cream on top. Over coffee and ice cream, we did the survey. While I was answering Ellen’s questions and she was filling out the questionnaire, I remembered that I didn’t have enough money to pay the bill. So I got nervous and wondered what I was going to do. My first thought was to apologize for a moment, but then I just walked out of the cafe! No, that would be unfair. Then I thought about telling the girls that the ice cream they ordered was too expensive; a poor student doesn’t have that kind of money. Just then I saw an old friend sitting in a corner of the big cafe. I hesitated a bit, then apologized to the young ladies and went over to my friend. After a quick hello, I told him what was going on and if he could lend me some money. He took a bill out of his pocket, which was more than enough, gave it to me and said: “Have fun with your girls!”

When I got back to Ellen and her friend, I was relieved of my financial worries and immediately made the next invitation. I asked if I could take them to a movie. “Good idea, we’ll come with you,” they agreed. We went to an art house theater, bought tickets, and entered the movie. It was a love story between an American and a European. When the movie was over and we were leaving, Ellen hugged me and said, “I’ll invite you tomorrow!”….

Ellen was outgoing and extroverted. She was politically very interested and quite well informed.  We had been together for more than a year. On our anniversary, we wondered what would happen next. We both felt that we were too young to get engaged or even married. What would we do without a plan? At the end of our conversation, we decided to separate. But we wanted to remain good friends… Breaking up with Ellen was very sad because we loved each other. But we saw no point in our relationship without plans for the future.

Ellen later studied philosophy and literature. We saw each other around the university and from time to time we had coffee in a cozy cafeteria and reminisced about the unforgettable time we had spent together.

This love story was an offering by one of our soul family members.

Thank you for your contribution.

—- Translated to German by M. R. Kaiser —-

Kaffee, Eiskrem und Liebe

Ellen lernte ich in einem Studentencafé kennen. Es war ein schöner Wochentag, als ich nach meiner Vorlesung dorthin ging. An einem Tisch neben der Kasse saßen zwei junge Mädchen. Ich schaute sie kurz an. Eine fiel mir ins Auge. Es war Ellen: Sie hatte kurze, dunkelbraune Haare und große, schöne blaue Augen, welche sie in der gleichen Farbe geschminkt hatte.

Um Kaffee zu holen, musste ich erst an den jungen Frauen vorbeigehen. Ellen war gerade dabei, einige Dokumente zu sortieren, während sie sich mit ihrer Freundin unterhielt. „Was sind das für Unterlagen? Vorlesungsskripte?“ fragte ich. „Nein, das sind Fragebögen für eine Umfrage“, antwortete Ellen. „Ob ich mich setzen darf?“. Ohne große Begeisterung sagte sie ja. Die beiden Mädchen waren Gymnasiastinnen und arbeiteten in einem Meinungsforschungsinstitut: Sie befragten Studentinnen und Studenten zu einem bestimmten Thema. Ich fragte, ob ich ein guter Interviewpartner wäre; Ellen fragte zurück: „Was studierst du?“ „Ich studiere Betriebswirtschaft und arbeite als Praktikant.“ „Okay, dann kommst dafür in Frage.”

Bevor wir mit dem Interview begannen, schlug ich vor, dass wir drei in ein Café in der Nähe der Oper gehen sollten; ich würde sie gerne einladen. Wir gingen also in dieses Café. Ich bestellte einen Espresso; die beiden Schülerinnen bestellten jeweils eine große Schale Eiskrem mit Früchten und eine extra Portion Sahne obendrauf. Bei Kaffee und Eis machten wir die Umfrage. Während ich Ellens Fragen beantwortete und sie den Fragebogen ausfüllte, fiel mir ein, dass ich nicht genug Geld hatte, um die Rechnung zu bezahlen. Dann wurde ich nervös und überlegte, was ich nun tun sollte. Mein erster Gedanke war, mich kurz zu entschuldigen und dann einfach das Café verlassen! Nein, das wäre unfair. Sodann dachte ich daran, den jungen Frauen zu sagen, dass das, was sie bestellt haben, zu teuer sei; ein armer Student hat nicht so viel Geld. Da sah ich einen alten Freund in einer Ecke des großen Cafés sitzen. Ich zögerte ein wenig, entschuldigte mich und ging zu dem Freund. Nach einer kurzen Begrüßung erzählte ich ihm die Geschichte und fragte ihn, ob er mir etwas Geld leihen könnte. Er zog einen großen Geldschein aus der Tasche, gab ihn mir und sagte: „Viel Spaß mit deinen Freundinnen!“

Als ich bei Ellen und ihrer Freundin ankam, war ich meine finanziellen Sorgen wirklich los und machte gleich die nächste Einladung. Ob ich sie ins Kino einladen könnte, fragte ich sie. „Gute Idee, wir kommen mit“, antworteten sie. Wir gingen zu Fuß zu einem Programmkino, kauften Karten und gingen rein. Es ging um eine Romanze zwischen einem Amerikaner und einer Europäerin. Als der Film zu Ende war und wir aus dem Kino rauskamen, umarmte mich Ellen und sagte: „Ich lade dich morgen ein!“….

Ellen war offenherzig und extrovertiert. Sie war politisch sehr interessiert und ziemlich gut informiert. Wir waren über ein Jahr zusammen. An unserem einjährigen Jubiläum fragten wir uns, wie es wohl weitergehen würde. Noch fühlten wir uns beide zu jung, um uns zu verloben oder gar zu heiraten. Was sollten wir also ohne eine Perspektive machen? Am Ende unseres Gesprächs beschlossen wir, uns zu trennen. Aber wir wollten gute Freunde bleiben … Die Trennung von Ellen war sehr traurig, weil wir uns wirklich gern hatten. Aber wir sahen keinen Sinn in unserer Beziehung ohne Pläne für die Zukunft.

Ellen studierte später Philosophie und Literatur. Wir trafen uns hin und wieder an der Uni, tranken einen Kaffee in einer gemütlichen Cafeteria und erinnerten uns an die unvergessliche Zeit, die wir miteinander verbracht hatten.

The Invitation by Cindi Hausheer

      Mexico City

Traveling to Northern
Spain
Weeks celebrating

   My adult children

The ultimate birthday gift
Precious time with them

  Our souls connecting 

Happy moments together
My life is better!

  cindi hausheer   2024

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SOUL SISTER

Note: Other posts about & by Cindi 
Mazel Tov, posted on 9/5/2023, Cindi, A reflection of the Divine Feminine, 1/24/23, My Andrew, my hero, 6/6/2022, Tick Tock, 2/17/22,  Cindi, An angel of love and compassion, 1/30/22